I don't want to lie, 'cause we can't stay together my friend, this is the end.
Okay so E.M.D were singing about a bad relationship ending, but my other potential Eurovision related reference was CatCat who were not only also singing about a bad relationship, but also in Finnish.
So after five long years, in full time, part time and casual roles, my 'career' at Bunnings Warehouse has finally come to an end. I'm not sure this will be an entirely permanent result as I will need a job when I return and my now former complex manager Rob Tucker in a rare burst of seriousness told me how much I'd be missed and that I was welcome back any time. Even so, this is already a major change in my life and I thought it would be neglectful of me to not to spend a moment to reflect upon it.
I heard that Ass Rope is at least three times as expensive as this in Estonia. Bargain!
I started my job at Bunnings on the 5th of August 2006, a month and a half after I returned from China at the Wodonga North branch of the store. The time after I arrived back in Australia is very hazy for me, I honestly can not remember a single detail of events after my return to Wodonga aside from a feeling of dread up until the point I handed in my resumé to Bunnings. Funnily enough it was the Wodonga South store I applied to, but somehow they gave me a job! I later found out they decided my six months abroad made me behave a lot worldlier than many of the other applicants and in August 2006 I was one of 17 successful applicants from a pool of around 300 to 400, and one of 3 who ended up at Wodonga North.
I was originally a register operator and did the occasional shift as random floor guy and quite often I hung down in the trade section selling timber or operating their register, so my beginnings were quite paint-less, I can remember eyeing the paint tinters enviously from my register as I longed to have a go. It wasn't until one of the people who I started work with started training in paint that I marched myself right up to the ops manager's office and asked how come I wasn't allowed to do paint, to which he responded "you are, go learn!".
In mid 2007 the two stores in Wodonga thankfully merged to become a warehouse and I was moved permanently to the paint department. It was in that period under the former master of paint Tony (who sadly passed in 2008) from Wodonga South that I gained most of the knowledge I have of paint today. It wasn't until December 2007 that I became so jaded and restless with Wodonga and requiring more of a challenge that I sussed out a job in Melbourne, and within four days of casually searching I had a full time job at the Box Hill store!
Honestly, in reflection I do not know how I survived my first year and a half without being fired. I was lazy and quite frankly a highly blasé and unreliable team member and I remember several cases of "just not feeling like working" and not showing up for work that and I was late a lot for no good reason other than reluctance to cycle the 10km from my house to the store.
So to just pause, people I specifically need to thank from Wodonga:
Siân Sims & Holly Regener - You two were my best friends at that store and I will never forget that. Even though our lives have taken us super far away, I'm absolutely certain that I would not be as confident or nearly as sassy as I am these days without you guys to laugh with all day.
Tegan Evans - We were a damn fine team at Wodonga and again had lots of fun, but more importantly you helped me realise that everyone out there is kind of a jerk and that I need to toughen up a bit if I'm going to make it. I regret not hanging out with you more when you moved to Melbs!
Becc Wynack - You were the first coordinator to talk to me honestly and bluntly without
talking down to me, and despite being as unreliable as I was you saw that I would grow out of that and you helped me get the job at Box Hill.
And I need to say no thanks at all to Chris Vidovic; you were an ass to me and now you're fat. Karma?
I've missed a lot of people here, but time to move on!
Why fork when you can tumble indeed!
So it came to be that on the 17th of December 2007, I not only was living in a city around 40times bigger than my hometown, but I was working a full 38 hour week. My reasons for moving to Melbourne were admittedly quite foolish (I moved for a boy- it didn't go well and now we don't talk) but even though I made the decision with a naive outlook, I don't regret it at all. At Box Hill, I rekindled my love of all things Chinese! I hadn't felt very positively about my time in China when I returned, and with the large Chinese immigrant community of Box Hill out and about needing paint and selling food, I was reminded of how much I missed! Box Hill also made me appreciate how weird I was and that weird is cool and I shouldn't be ashamed. It was also the first workplace I was completely out to which was a very important step in accepting who I am.
I learnt a lot at Box Hill, while I will freely admit that even today I am very likely to stand around talking when I should be working, I reigned it in substantially. Box Hill also saw me earn enough money to achieve a lifelong dream of attending the Eurovision Song Contest, and really after that I was a changed man with a new fire.
I was only at Box Hill for just under a year, but I changed a lot in that year and came out of it with a much better understanding of 'buckling down and doing what you gotta do' and the
importance of having a goal to work towards.
And people I specifically need to thank from Box Hill:
Gerard Renato - Now I know we worked together at Hawthorn too, but the context and circumstances were very different. Gerard opened his spare room to me and became my housemate for a good portion of 2008, saving me from nearly fleeing my Dad's house and going back to Wodonga (I love my Dad, but Croydon is awful). He was also my first proper gay friend and instrumental in helping me come to terms with who I am.
Sally Tyben - I don't think I ever properly thanked you for making my 21st birthday at work special. You brought me a cake at the paint desk and called the store to sing me happy birthday. Naturally I was terribly embarrassed but not so secretly I loved it. I don't like making a big deal for my birthday, but I always kinda hope that someone will. I'm glad you too have moved on to something so perfectly suited to you!
Ken Bedford - Again, we worked together at Hawthorn, but we established our power paint team status early on here so I feel it deserves a mention here. We could not be two different people, but damn do we work well together! I've always appreciated the way that when I asked you to be blunt to me about what I was doing wrong, you honoured that, the way you let me yell at you when I felt I needed to make a point and the fact that you respected me enough as a person to take my point of view into consideration despite your far superior experience. I'm so happy you're back in paint, and I wish you all the best.
Again, thanks/sorry to everyone I missed!
Me embracing my weirdness, encouraged by my fellow oddball, Bron Burns.
And that brings me to the end of this marathon love-in, Bunnings Hawthorn.
Bunnings Hawthorn was weird. Right from the start the context was different, here I wasn't just some kid from the country, I was the paint expert and all of a sudden I was responsible for training new team members and my role was increased dramatically, not only that, all of a sudden I was a lot more valued as a team member. I honestly can not begin to explain how much has changed at Hawthorn as it's taken me this long to explain two years already, but Bunnings Hawthorn has been the best of the stores i've worked at by far (sorry Wodonga/Box Hill!). I've felt far more valued and i've been recognised for my work here more than any other store,
granted that is probably because in my time I evolved from bratty teenager to awesome young adult with a killer jawline, but Hawthorn actively did stuff to get me to want to stay. I don't think I've ever felt so wanted!
My controversial headband (formerly my normal scarf)
So because this is going to cover most of it anyway, my Hawthorn thanks:
Keirice Farley - Now nobody is surprised at all here. Keirice you are one of my best friends and if I was into girls nearly as much as you were, I w
ould marry you. I talk a lot about becoming comfortable with myself, but nobody in the world has made me more comfortable to be me than you have. That's all I need to say really.
Lisa O'Neill - For putting up with my constant barrage of mini crises in 2009 about what I intended to do with my life. For recognising my strengths and giving me accountabilities that you knew that I would enjoy and be good at. For hiring Keirice because you knew, you just knew. Finally, thanks for just being so damn bubbly all the time!
The Entire Paint Team - You've been the greatest people to work with and I'll miss you all.
Idaishe Mandinyenya - Because she'll be super pissed if I don't mention her. <3 u
The Window - Seriously guys, do you know what it's like to work in a Bunnings with a window in it, particularly one right next to your desk? It's luxury.
And of course, thank you every single team member I have worked with there. I've been annoyed with some of you from time to time, but try as I might, there is nobody I actively dislike, and I've never had that anywhere.
My Legacy: Do any of y'all have their own paint tint machine named after them?
Okay, that's it. If you've made it this far you deserve a 'you did good' card. haw haw haw.
In closing I would like to say I never understood why it was called Wodonga North when it was further South than Wodonga South. Probably best it doesn't exist anymore...
One Week, Four Days...
